We Are Dauntless
by awkwardlyperfect
Summary: Takes place during the knife throwing scene. Tris is feeling weak, she wants to give it all up. When she finds out she made the wrong choice, she is given another chance by someone whom she least expected it from. And if we truly know him, it is wise to say; there is a catch.     Changed the plotline of the story, same first chapter though. Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

**Sadly, I do not own** **the Divergent Trilogy, or any of it's characters and dialogue. I am just overly obsessed with the story, and this is what it would of looked like had I had the creativity to actually think up such a wonderful book.**

**Please, read and review. Let me know what I'm doing right, and wrong. And possibly what you think should happen next? Thanks guys(;**

"Can you be any more terrible?" Eric fiercly questioned Al. He was intently glaring at the knife in Al's hand. The way Al held knife was not of one that was comfortable with the weapon in their hand. I know this because thats exacly how I held mine when it was first given to me.

Eric expects Al to be perfect at knife throwing, even though we've only been practicing for a couple hours. He doesn't understand that not everyone is going to be good at everything they are taught, sometimes it takes years of practice to accomplish things, especially something like this.

I really wanted to tell Eric to ease up, but even though I am now a Dauntless initiate, I still have my fears. I'm not saying that I'm afraid of Eric, thats not necessarily it. I'm mainly afraid of what he could do to me. He isn't someone you want to mess with, let alone talk to for that matter. There was something about him that just set me off.

Maybe it was the piercings, and greasy hair that covered a great portion of his face. Maybe it was the way that his mouth curled into a bitter smile when he found a way to push your buttons.

In all honesty though, I think it's the eyes. When you look into them chills creep up your spine. They looked emotionless, yet seemed deadly. They were pitiless orbs, and you couldn't help but wonder if they were a windows to what really lay inside. A souless monster.

Without noticing I stopped throwing, along with the rest of my fellow initiates. All eyes, including mine, were shifted to the direction of Al and Eric.

"Come on, everyone else atleast threw it in the general direction of the target." Eric was egging Al on. _Bastard._ Al was getting angry, his breath coming out in huffs.

He raises his arm slowly, he can feel eyes on him. He flings his arm back, but his eyes aren't focusing on the target. He is hurridly peaking out the corner of his eye, all too aware that we are all staring. Eric notices this then turns to us, "Why are you all just standing there?"

It wasn't a demand, but it was just as effective. We all scuttled and began throwing our knives once more. Of course I just made a show of it, I felt the need to watch Al. His arm was still in mid throw, he was breathing heavily again. That was part of his problem, he needed to calm down.

Knives were darting towards targets all around him. I could tell he didn't like this stage of training. But, with slight hesitation he threw the knife. It misses the target by a foot.

"How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer?" Eric irritatingly questioned.

The taunting makes Al's face go red, but he throws another knife, and again he misses the target, it hits the wall and falls to the ground in a loud clank.

"What was that?" Eric questioned. I could tell this wasn't leading anywhere good.

"It slipped.." Al says. Eric's eyes scan over Al, then to the knife on the floor. I couldn't help but notice his cruel signature smile forming on his lips. Yes, this was definetly going to turn ugly. Fast.

"Well I think you should go get it," Eric says. What was he doing? Everyone stopped throwing their knives again. Eric clenched his teeth when he noticed us.

"Did I tell you to stop throwing?"

He wasn't serious was he? I quickly got an answer to my question when everyone around me began to throw their knives again. Everyone except for Al that is, who stood there in utter shock. It's funny how we are all training to become Dauntless, yet we are deathly afraid of Eric's wrath.

Actually it's not funny at all, it's shameful.

"Go get it?" Al's eyes grew wide. "But everyone's still throwing." _Like Eric cares._

"Is that a problem?" I want to wonder how Eric can do something like this, but then I remember he's an inhumane prick.

"I don't want to get hit." Al said, then gulped. He knew after he said it that Eric would presume he was a coward.

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you." Eric gives off a slight laugh, but it just doesn't fit with his character. It makes me go cold. "Go fetch your knife."

Al knows that refusing will do no good, but he is more worried about his life then a knife. The look in his eyes tell you he is no longer putting up with this, even if it will cause him to be looked down on by the Dauntless.

"No." A grin covers my face, I can't help it.

"Why not?" Eric's beady eyes are fixed on Al's face. "Are you afraid?"

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" says Al. "Yes, actually. I am!"

His mistake is honesty. Had he just refused, Eric may have accepted it. Instead though, stating that he was afraid marks him as a coward. That is something that the Dauntless don't take lightly.

"Everyone stop, clear out the ring!" Eric shouts. I drop the dagger I was holding, it lands with a thud. What has Al gotten himself into? All the intiates greedily swarm around the two.

I turn to see Peter with the same sickly smile plastered on his face. Him and Eric could be brothers. They are the ones that deserve to be punished.

"Stand in front of the target." Eric says. Al puts his head down and slowly trudges to the target. I can't help but wonder what sick thoughts are making way through Eric's mind.

"Four, give me a hand over here." Eric motions towards Four, then lays all the knives on the table in front of him. Four doesn't hide his curiousity, and if I wasn't mistaken his features showed concern. But it was gone in the blink of an eye.

"You will stand there, while Four throws these knives." He pauses and the smile creeps back onto his face. "Until you learn not to flinch." Al's eyes grow wide, and my fingers ball up in fists. He enjoys torturing people, he gets a thrill from it. Repulsive scum.

"Are you sure this is necessary?" Four questions. Finally, someone speaks up.

The two stand in silence, staring at one another. "I'm the one with the authority." Eric reminds Four. "Here, and everywhere else. Remember?" Four sighs slightly, his face tinted red. He mutters something under his breath, and grabs a knife.

Al is sweating through his shirt, he looks as though he may pass out. Four lifts the knife, it glistens off the lights that hang above the arena.

I can feel the rage eating away at my insides, clinging to every fiber of my being. I don't think I've ever been this angry in my life. I've never wanted to hit someone so bad.

I'm angry at Eric for being such a heartless jerk.

I'm angry at Four for giving into Eric's cruelness.

And I'm angry at myself because I wasn't doing anything to stop it.

I can feel my face growing hot. Everyone is anticipating the throw, and I am clenching my teeth trying not to scream. Had I not bitten my fingernails down to the beds, they'd be painfully clawing into my skin.

Fours grip tightens on the knife, he is going to throw it. He is actually going to do it. And Al is going to stand there and take it. I pound my hand with all the force I can muster on the table next to me.

"STOP!" Someone screams, all heads turn. I look around to see where it came from, only to quickly realize that everyone is looking at me. I'm the one that shouted.

I meet Eric's eyes, only to find them boring into mine. "What was that Stiff?" Eric's words are fierce, his stance is ridgid.

I want to punch him right in the face, but instead I find my voice and begin to speak.

"I said, stop," I can't help myself, my mouth just keeps spurting words. "You're yelling at Candor over there to get glasses, maybe you should get a hearing aid." I bit my lip to stop from saying anything else. I can taste the metallic on my tongue.

Snickers come from a few of the initiates surrounding me, and I swear I saw Fours lips twitch up into a small smile. It makes my insides melt a little, but I don't understand why. It's nice to see him smile.

For the most part though, I feel the mouths gaping around me, the eyes widening. Not mine though, my adrenaline is pumping, I'm fearless.

"Watch it Stiff."

I chuckle, why am I doing this? Am I asking to die? I glance at Christina who can decide whether to smile or be frightened by what may happen to her. I give her a look that tells her I'll be fine.

My dart to Four again, he is now giving me a disapproving look. And for some reason that bothers me. He was just smiling, or so I thought, not just two seconds ago.

Suddenly I want to take back everything I said. The look in his eyes is the same one that a father would give to their child if they were acting inappropriately. I don't want him to seem me as a child. But what else would he see me as? How do I want him to view me? I must look away before I feel vulnerable. I can't feel that way, not now. Not after I've already said all this.

But it's almost too late, I already feel ashamed of myself. I will never be seen as an equal in his eyes. I'm just some adolescent punk wreaking unnecessary havoc. My strength is dwindling rapidly. I don't know if I can go through with this now.

"Candor, move. Stiff, take his place." Eric's words break me from my remorseful thoughts. I breathe in a sigh of relief, I almost gave this up.

I am not at all suprised by Eric's command. This is what I almost expected would happen. Al is safe, that's what I wanted.

But now I'm in danger. I sigh as I stand in front of the target, I'm still Abnegation at heart. Suddenly, I am regretting all of this. I don't want to be standing here having knives thrown at me, but I have no choice. I will not let Eric gain the satisfaction of me begging for mercy.

"If you flinch, Al takes your place." Eric states.

Apparently my outburst didn't faze him much. I can't help but feel relief. Now all I had to do was stand here while Four throws knives at my face. Sounds easy.

I let out a hysterical laugh, which makes me look as if I am getting enjoyment out of this. Four raises an eyebrow as if to ask, _What are you?_

_I don't know anymore. _That's the truth, I really don't know who I am. I nod towards Eric to tell him I am ready, not that he would care if I was or not. My throat feels dry, _Four won't hit me. _I don't know if I'm just saying it to comfort myself or if I believe its true.

I stare directly at him now. He looks comfortable with a knife in his hand. I feel a weight being lifted of my shoulder. Four has good aim, he's been doing this for a while now. He won't hit me, I will be fine.

I will not flinch. I will not cower. I will stand here and look into Four's eyes, I will not even look at the knife as it darts toward me. I am Dauntless, and I will show Eric that he is the true coward.

Four shifts his arm back, _it won't hit you_. He looks at the target instead of me preparing his throw, _you must not flinch._ He flings his arm foward and the knife heads in my direction, _you are no coward._ My thoughts were completely correct.

He did not hit me, I did not flinch, and I am no coward. I fold my arms and glance at Eric. "Happy?" I say. He doesn't even look at me. Instead he turns to Four once more, "Again."

"You aren't serious," I question. "I did exactly what you said." Even I know the answer to that one, I shouldn't have said anything.

"Oh, are you done then, Stiff?" Four asks.

I think of Al, how I am doing this for his safety, not mine. I shake my head.

"Four." Eric seems to be giving him permission to throw again, as if he might have said no. I stand there. I keep my hands to my sides, and eyes locked on Four.

"Sure you don't want to give another person a shot Stiff?" Four is taunting me again. Why would he say that? Does he want me to fail? I shake me head.

"Shut up and throw the damn knife." This time my throat isn't dry, I am completely ready. Another knife flies my way, only this time it skims my ear. It doesn't hurt, but I quickly bring my hand up to it. I feel the blood trickling down the side of my face.

I glare directly at Four, he is expressionless. He did it on purpose. My cheeks heat up, I don't allow my mouth to gape because I am not at all surprised. Eric and him are just the same.

He almost tricked me into thinking he was a better person. And for some reason, my heart dropped into my stomach. He wasn't who I thought.I feel hot tears forming in the back of my eyes. I need to get out of here. I don't want them to think I am crying because of my ear. I don't want them to ask me why it is I am even upset because I wouldn't be able to answer

"I really would enjoy staying here to see if the rest of you are as daring as she is," Eric turns to the crowd of initiates in front of me. ", but I believe that is enough of this for today."

He walks up to me and squeezes my shoulder, I clench my teeth. His fingers feel cold and dry. He smiles at as though he is impressed, but his eyes just look like they are bored.

"I'm keeping my eye on you." He adds. I don't return his smile.

I yank my shoulder out of his grip, I am not his to hold. He chuckles, then stares into my eyes. In them I see a warning, he's telling me not to step over the line again. I feel a knot in my throat, I gulp.

He smiles, showing all of his teeth. He knows that I understand him. Turning away he walks to the door, "Get back to work." The doors open, and a faint light can be seen from the hallway. He is gone. Finally.

Everyone is still standing there, staring, gaping. I squint my eyes and look at Four. I shake my head and turn away. I walk back to my table, ignoring the whispers and gossip protruding from the initiates.

Still, everyone is staring at me wondering what I will do. Picking up a knife I close my eyes. _Think of Eric_. I squeeze my eyes shut. _Imagine he is your target._ I clench my teeth tightly while squeezing the knife. It's dead silent.

I open my eyes, and look at the target, but all I see is a self righteous bastard. I throw the knife with everything I have. Quickly I turn away, I don't have to look to know I hit the middle.

"I thought he told you to get back to work?" I say to the initiates. They all scatter. This isn't my arena, I am not the leader. But at the moment, no one wants to mess with me.

Four motions for me to come his way. I turn to Christina first and give her a smile. _I really am sane. _She gets it and smiles widely back, she's proud of me. And for the first time in a while, I'm actually proud of myself as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**I've been out of commission for a while, as you all could tell. I can't tell you how insanely sorry I am for not posting this chapter months earlier. There has been a lot of stuff going on in my life, and I am just now getting it back to where I was when I started writing this story. I thoroughly appreciate all of you that took time to review my story, it's the only reason I gave it a second chance. It now has over a thousand views, so I think that may be another reason why I've finally came back to this almost discarded project of mine.**

**It has taken a slight turn from what I originally had planned out for the plot. Mostly because I forgot some of the main parts. But I hope you like it just as well either way. Keep reading and reviewing, and I promise to keep adding new chapters. The more reviews, the quicker I update. Once again, thank you all.**

While I was having my silent conversation with Christina, Four moved to the corner of the room. The light in the arena was dim, but it was even darker towards the edges. After a few slight seconds of scanning, I eventually spotted him leaning against a table in the back flipping a dagger in his hand.

_Was he trying to show off, or was that just him being himself?_ I really didn't know. Everything I thought I knew about him was vaporized. Now I'm beginning to wonder why I trusted him enough to give him any chance at all.

I rolled my eyes, _you're real cool. _

With every step I reminded myself of what happened not just a few moments ago. Four had just purposely hit me with a knife. I had nearly forgotten about my ear, the pain was only slightly buzzing at the tip where I was hit. There must have been blood staining my hair and cheek. I chose to ignore these thoughts, there was nothing I could do about it now. It's easier to pretend it was no big deal.

Four is looking behind me, as if he doesn't notice I'm walking in his direction. He's ignoring me.

_He did want me over here right? Or is that what I wanted to see?_

_Why did I _want _to see that?_

Feeling flustered, I continue walking, smoothing down my dull black t-shirt.

_Breathe. Be calm. Don't lose your temper, Tris. _I almost wanted to laugh at myself. This was pathetic.

"Hey." I mumble, not meeting his eyes. _Hey? _I could have said anything I wanted to and I chose _'Hey'_? Why does it feel like I'm trying to give him another chance?

Internally, I shook my head. _You know exactly why, I mean.. look at him._

This was going to be more difficult than I planned.

_Just remember, Beatrice; he threw a knife. At your face. You're lucky it only skimmed your ear._

What if luck had nothing to do with it though? What if he meant to miss my face and hit my ear?

_Yes, because that makes _so _much sense._

Now that Eric is gone I don't really feel as frustrated, and it seems like the tension in the room diminished completely. Well, almost.

The voice in my head wants to say that the real reason I am so peaceful is because I'm in such close proximity with Four. There is something about him that calms me down. When he isn't launching daggers at my head, that is.

It scared me how much I was thinking about him. How long had we been standing there silently? Should we make eye contact? Why did it feel like I've never talked to a person before?

_Because an attractive male has never called you over into a dark corner of the room to chat. _

I looked directly into his eyes and lost my train of thought. It was supposed to be a quick sweep of his face, but I couldn't help that my eyes were locked in place. It took everything within me to remember that humans needed oxygen to breathe, or else I'd probably be struggling for air right now.

His eyes were bluish grey, reminding me an early Abnegation morning. Thinking about this causes a memory of my earlier life, when things were simple, easier. When things were predictable, and everything I did was sane.

Although dwelling on the past was sort of a restriction when you joined a seperate faction, I couldn't help but remembering my family.

Caleb and I used to sit outside with one another and watch the sunrise, it was the only time we ever just enjoyed spending time together. In Abnegation you really aren't supposed to have time to yourself. It's selfish to spend time doing things for one's own enjoyment.

One morning the two of us constructed our own little "loop-hole". I was enjoying the morning for Caleb, and he was enjoying it for me.

Even then we weren't true to our faction. Neither of us really wanted to live like that.

In the time we shared we would not talk or look at each other, but we would silently speak words that in any other instance would never be said. It was nice to spend time with one another. Truly though, it was nice to spend that time with myself. When the sun was up, I'd still sit there until Caleb finally had to come back out to get me.

_"I've had enough fun for the day." _He would joke, referring to our "loop-hole". As he would grab my arm to bring me inside, I'd yank it back.

_"Yes, but I haven't." _

I never really did it for Caleb, I did it for myself. I wasn't selfless like the rest of my family and former faction members. I'd continue to stare at the sky and wonder what life outside of our faction was like.

The cloudless sky was just the same as the color of Four's eyes.

Silently, I hated him for this. I knew he couldn't help what colors his eyes were, but now every time I see him I will always be thinking of my family. Of Caleb. And how much I really do miss them, and I can't miss them. Missing things makes you weak. If there is one thing I have learned from being here, it's that being weak in any way deems you a coward.

I feel a lump making its way into my throat. My eyes are stinging. I can't cry, not in front of Four. Not in front of these initiates. I break away from his eyes and look to the ground. A wave of shame floods over me, my breathing is slightly off.

I hear Four sit the knife on the table beside him and does the unexpected. I feel his hand grasping my shoulder. It is warm, and sweaty. I don't feel the disgusted urge to pull back from him like I did with Eric.

No matter how much I hated to admit it, I actually liked the feeling of him touching me. The electricity from his palm greeted my shoulder, pulsing through my veins. Inwardly I smiled, then gained enough courage to look up at him. Big mistake. His eyes are intent on my face, studying me. I can't help but allow myself to take in his features once more.

His hair is shiny, and black, it looks as though it hasn't seen a brush several days, but it's a look that fits him. There is a small scar next to his left eye, barely noticeable unless you are paying close attention, like I was. He had a slight shadow of a beard, it makes him look older than he truly is. His face looks worn, and tired, but his eyes seem firm and tough. Everything about him screams Dauntless.

Everything about me screams child. Im underdeveloped. As in short, scrawny, and to my dismay completely flat-chested. This is one of the moments that I crave to be back in Abnegation. To blend in with the rest. To never have to worry about how I looked. We all looked the same.

Why does that bother me so much? Never had I thought so much about my body shape until I came here. Back in Abnegation I wouldn't have even seen it enough to think about it. I retreated my glance, unsure of how long I had been staring.

He'd never want me. Why would someone as handsome, and brave as him even give a girl like me a second glance? He can have someone who is beautiful, not just so-so. I'm an initiate. And that is all I will ever be.

I shrug off his hand, already missing his touch. I don't know why that bothers me so much. After all he did just nearly take my ear out. It was frustrating that I couldn't make myself hate him. There was just that something about him. Maybe the mysteriousness of him, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to believe that.

What I truly think is that he is untouchable. I can't have him. And this only makes me want him more.

"Earth to Tris?" I was awaken from my trance. How long had he been trying to get my attention? Embarrassment flooded me. My cheeks were blooming red.

Looking up I find his eyes on me once again, his eyebrows furrowed. He was looking at me as if I was something unknown. I didn't like that. I thought at first his eyes looked deeply concerned, or maybe lost in thought. Then, in an instant, all of it vanished. Leaving me wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. He shifted his stance. He was no longer the comforting Four I had just seen. My instructor was in front of me instead.

"What was that?" He says coolly. His voice is emotionless, like he doesn't care. _Did he feel the electricity like I did, _I wonder. I guess not. His face shows no real concern, or confusion.

Seeing him glance at my ear, I sigh. Of course that's what he was talking about. Not the fact that my heart was fluttering, or when we touched electricity coursed through our veins.

Like I said, he deserved better. Why waste his time with me?

I backed up a step, mostly because I'm growing angry, but partially because the closeness was making it hard for me to breathe.

"Seeing as you were there, you should be able to answer that one yourself." I whispered. It was supposed to come out in a more harsh tone, but I was trying to get my lungs to fill up with much needed oxygen. "I should be the one asking _you_ that very same question." I found my voice.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, he was amused by my attempted outburst. I could feel my cheeks growing hot. Does he know what I had felt earlier? Or is he mocking me?

"You'd think you'd act more pleasant seeing as though I was _helping_ you." He stated. That didn't even make sense. He had been goading me to give up, he was trying to get me to fail.

"_Helping_ me?" I held my arms to my sides balled up in fists. His presence was no longer capable of calming me down. "You were telling me to give up. You call that_ helping_?" He opened his mouth to speak but I wasnt done yet.

"And while we're at it why the fuck did I get a knife thrown at my ear?" His eyes momentarily widened at my cursing, and mine did too. My hand flew up to my mouth, I gasped at my harshness. I want to take it back after I said it, but I couldn't, not now.

I had never cursed at him before. I hardly ever did to anyone, unless I was playing around. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed.

People began staring, I noticed his eyes dart behind me. He took a step closer, his breath right on my face. If he only knew the effect it had on me, he wouldn't be anywhere near me right now.

"You don't get it. Open your eyes a bit trainee." His words seemed as though they should have come out in a shout, but that wasn't Four. He had to be an emotionless robot. I was convincing myself that he didn't care enough to yell at me, and it really stung me to even think about that.

"What is your problem, why do you do that?" I ask, although the thought was supposed to stay in my head. He doesn't know what I am talking about. He raises an eyebrow, which reminds me of the look I got earlier from him.

_What are you?_

_A young, under-developed, psycotic Stiff._

And I laugh quietly at my own thought, I probably look like the biggest idiot in the world. Shaking my head I contain my sudden laughter, and Four just standing there looking as bored as he could. I suddenly go cold, my laughing immediatly pauses.

No, I'm not cold, I'm on fire now. Words that I hadn't even contemplated actually saying just decided to slip from my mouth.

"Forget it Four. You're a completely different person than I though you were going to be." He's still showing no emotion at all, still being Eric's little minion. I shake my head and say something that surprises us all. Including the initiates.

"I just didn't think anyone could be as much of a bastard as Eric, I guess I was wrong."

In that moment I ruined everything. His eyes looked fierce, there was that emotion I was searching for. He looked like he was going to pick up the dagger off the table next to him and fling it at me. Only this time I wouldn't make it out with only a small scrape.

I bit my lip. This isn't what I thought I wanted. I've ruined any chance I had with him. He won't ever talk to me again.

"I'm so sor.." I began, only to be halted.

"Just go." He whispered, trying to contain his composure. I couldn't make my legs move. My eyes were begging for forgiveness, because I couldn't make my lips form the words.

"GO!" He yelled. It was so loud my ears rang, and all I could do was continue to stand there dumbly. Every initiate stopped everything and if they hadn't already been looking, they sure were now.

I felt a shiver go down my spine. I couldn't help but shake. I was frightened. His expression soften a bit, I could tell he didn't mean to yell. I didn't mean to say what I did either. But neither of us could take it back.

A single tear leaked from my eye onto my cheek.

That tear held everything. The stress I had from choosing to switch from Abnegation to Dauntless, leaving both my parents behind. I remembered my father's face, the look of disappointment and betrayal darkening his eyes. The fact that he wasn't going to miss me, now that he realized that I decided to leave them.

The frustration that I was feeling that I couldn't seem to fit in here. That Peter and his gang of 'godly power' were always making me feel like I would never succeed, and in this moment, I couldn't help but believe them.

I made the mistake of coming here, I clearly don't belong. I should be in Abnegation. In the safeness of my home with both my parents and Caleb. But I no longer belong there, I am not one of them.

But, the thing that the tear was mostly filled with was the embarrassment of acting like such an 'initiate' in front of Four. If I wanted a sliver of a chance with him I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have let Al take his punishment.

And now, that I'm really thinking about it, what I just did was something an Abnegation would do. This thought crossed my mind earlier, but I didn't dwell on it. But now in this supreme silence all I can do is think. All I can do is think of all the pain and heartache that this faction switch has given me.

I don't want to do this anymore.

I look at Four, making sure I have his full attention. And find that I do. Hard telling just how long I was standing there thinking about all of this. I didn't care. Leaving would be easier on everyone. And I'm failing at all this anyway.

I simply nod at him.

"Good job you guys, you won." I partially whisper to myself. He raised an eyebrow, and I turned before the tears flooded my eyes. Pushing through the crowd of people, my vision became blurry. I then began to run. I ran, and ran. All the way out to the hall way to the nearest door I could find. I needed out.

Not knowing where I was going. I ran to the nearest room. I had to be alone. Honestly, I could leave right this very second, but I don't know where I'd go. It was then that I realize that I was all alone, that there was no one left in my life. I had no mother or father to lean on, no older brother to look up to and ask for advice, no friends to listen to me. _No Four to make me feel calm and safe._

The room I was in was dark. It matched my mood. I could get up and turn on a light, I could venture to another spot to sit, I could go back an apologize to everyone for being so immature. None of the events that happened today had to happen. It was all my fault.

Christina, Will, and Al probably all thought I was crazy. If I went back to them, I wouldn't doubt that terror would scream in their eyes. What had I done?

Everything that once mattered could no longer matter anymore. Who am I? The girl back there was not the girl right here. I was strong, mouthy, and reckless. Right now I'm weak, small, and timid.

Peter is probably pumping his fists in the air, doing everything within his power to keep from dancing. I'd given him what he'd been wanting all along. I'd given up.

They wanted me gone anyway, and they won.

I'm a coward. I'm not anywhere near Dauntless.

I'm Beatrice Prior. And I'm not afraid to admit the truth. I'm as scared as hell.

**Don't worry. Poor ole' Beatrice will be fine. Well, maybe not "fine", per se.. Please, Review!  
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